Girl In White
by Raberba girl
Summary: Axel finds a cute thing in Castle Oblivion. My half-successful attempt at platonic AkuNami fluff.


Girl In White  
>A Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl<p>

_For Infamousplot_

Summary: Axel finds a cute thing in Castle Oblivion. My half-successful attempt at platonic AkuNami fluff.

o.o.o

"Hey, Saïx. You know how I've got that...weakness for cute things?"

_"I am aware that __**Lea**__ had such a weakness, yes."_

Ignoring his usual Nobody obnoxiousness, I continue, "Well, see, I'm here in Castle Oblivion, obviously, and I...well, I found this cute thing. See?" I tug the girl near the crystal orb so that Saïx can see her. She looks terrified.

_"What is _that_?"_ Saïx asks, in the same tone his mom once used to inquire about the actual, literal Roach Motel we'd tried to build when we were in fourth grade.

"It's a cute thing," I answer.

_"What is it doing in Castle Oblivion?"_

"Being cute."

It would truly touch my heart, if I still had one, to see Saïx taking the trouble to furrow his brow. In the past three or four years, I've had yet to see him fake any emotion for anyone except me. Granted, the emotion he almost always chooses to fake for me is annoyance, but I'll take what I can get. _"Stop being tiresome. I'll send Vexen and Zexion there tomorrow to investigate. Secure your find and then finish up today's mission. I will expect a detailed report upon your return."_

"Seriously, Sai. The eyes, at least? The eyes are doing nothing for you? Desperate, adorable, enormous, blue?"

_"My partiality is for a different color. If you will excuse me, I have work to do."_

He cuts the connection, leaving me staring at the blank orb in our Nobody version of surprise. Dark eyes are very rare, most people have blue. Mine are green. Had he really meant what I thought he did?

"I'm not an 'it'."

I glance over at the girl. "What?"

"You were...talking about me like I'm not even a person, but I am." She stands clutching that sketchbook of hers to her chest like it's a life preserver in a storm, her shoulders hunched, still firing those humongous pleading eyes at me full blast. Roxas and Xion have never experienced suffering. Roxas and Xion have nothing on this girl.

Somewhere out in the darkness among the many worlds, I can sense my Heartless _writhing_. The connection between us has been growing stronger lately, and it's definitely not fun.

"No, you're not," I say. I sit down comfortably on the floor because there's nowhere else to sit. Interestingly, she settles down as well, folding her legs all properly as she keeps clutching that sketchbook for all she's worth.

"I'm gonna tell you a story," I continue. "Once upon a time, there was a newborn Nobody who tried to pretend he still had a heart. But over the years, he started having to do lots and lots of icky stuff, and he finally decided that it was easier to just quit acting like doing that stuff bothered him. Because when you've got a choice between being miserable and being nothing, it's kind of a no-brainer to pick nothing, right?

"So the Nobody went on his way, free from guilt and shame and regret and despair, but then one day, he got a different kind of assignment. His bosses showed him a cute thing and ordered him to teach it how to be useful. So he did. Then a second cute thing showed up, and the first cute thing made friends with it because he's an idiot, so then the Nobody was stuck with _two_ cute things.

"That's when a funny thing happened. He couldn't feel _nothing_ anymore. He started having nightmares again, about everything he'd lost and all the stuff he'd done and what a horrible person he'd become. He remembered again what it was like to feel guilt and shame and regret and despair. And it sucks. But the cute things pretty much make up for it, it's just that the more adorable they get, the more everything else _hurts_, so the last thing I need is yet another cute thing tormenting my Heartless out there, and that's why you can't be a person, because the mere fact of your existence is bad enough."

We stare at each other. I raise an eyebrow. She ducks her head miserably. "Okay," she whispers.

_'Okay?'_

"I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble."

WHY DO THEY DO THIS TO ME. WHYYYY. "What's your name?" I ask.

She looks surprised. "I...I thought only people have names."

"Yeah, and I changed my mind and decided that you qualify as a person, more than I do, actually, so come on. Out with it."

She hesitates, still adorably nervous. "N...Naminé."

"Naminé, huh. I'll get that memorized." I gesture at myself. "I'm Axel."

"It's nice to meet you," she says, still in a whisper.

Well, enough of this awkwardness. I clap my hands on my knees and stand up again. "Well, guess I'd better RTC. I'll let you keep roaming around this castle if you promise you'll be a good girl and still be here later, 'kay?"

Her eyes widen (yes, apparently it's actually possible...), and she scrambles to her feet. "You're leaving?"

Stop it stop it stop it stop _looking at me like that_... "Don't worry," I say darkly. "I'll be back." And she'll hate my guts by the time we're through with her. At least the Puppy Eyes will stop then, but...it kind of defeats the purpose, doing it that way. Awful as those kids make me feel, it hurts even worse just thinking about them not liking me anymore. My heart's been missing for too long, my threshold for emotional pain has gotten abysmally low.

I hate cute things.

Apparently it doesn't matter that I don't have a heart, I still hate them.

"You...you will?" That look on her face. Trembling hope, with despair at the back of it. She knows better than to believe me. I might not _technically_ be lying to her, but she still knows better than to believe me. Smart girl.

I open a dark corridor. "Yep." We hold each other's eyes for a moment longer.

Then, just when I'm about to turn away, she dashes forward and actually drops that sketchbook so she can seize my arm. "Don't go!"

Well, crap.

"P...Please." Her voice breaks as she begs, and tears start rolling down her face. Lucky, lucky, lucky girl, still able to shed tears. Theoretically, we'd all kill to regain the ability to cry (_have_ killed, in my case). Though it also kind of makes you wonder why we're so set on regaining our hearts, if it means getting all this pain and turmoil back. Yippee.

"I'm sorry," she sobs, "it's just that...I've been so lonely, so terribly lonely, and this castle is so big and quiet, and you're the first person I've ever managed to see with my eyes and touch with my hands, and I'm sorry but I...feel like...I'll die if you...leave me alone again... Please, if you have to leave, then take me with you! Please don't leave me all alone again."

Siiiiiiiigh. I gingerly put my arm around her. She plants her face in the front of my coat and bawls.

She takes a while to finally pull herself together, and by that time I have both arms around her shoulders and am rocking her as if she's a baby. I study her face when she pulls back - still looks miserable, but now kind of resigned, too. Even so...just walking off and leaving her here...alone...in this creepy silent white castle...

"Do you like sea-salt ice cream?" I ask.

"What's ice cream?" she asks back, all sad-faced and polite.

WHY DO THEY DO THIS TO ME. "C'mon. I'll show you."

She puts her hand in mine and offers me the sweetest, shyest, most adorable little smile, and I realize with a sinking feeling that the list of Kids Who Own My Soul has just grown to three.

o.o.o

Author's Notes: **This fic should actually be much, much longer - thanks to Kiryn's plunny-inspiring, I'm now very much wanting to write a "how CoM works in the CatC universe" fic.** However, if I waited long enough to write that entire thing out, Ip's request would take ages to post. I figured that I'd better just publish it as is, even though it's in need of lots of backstory.

But whatever, I'll just let it stand as a placeholder for now. If I ever do get that CatC!CoM fic written (which will be as cute as I can get it, because c'mon, the CatC universe doesn't have much room for angst, and it will be a nice challenge to boot), I haven't decided yet whether I'm going to update this file and relocate the ficlet as a small scene in the whole, or leave _Girl In White_ as it is and post the CatC!CoM separately. (CatC stands for _Christmas at the Castle_, a fic of mine where Axel hangs out with Roxas & Xion for about three or four months before having to leave, and the Castle Oblivion team is not dispatched until after Christmas.)

Anyway. So yeah. This ficlet is for Ip. :) She said she'd like some AkuNami fluff after reading my _Roses & Kittens_ SaiShi, and I was instantly eager to try it out, since I've never done AkuNami before. I was kind of worried, since I'm so swamped with stuff to do and I have a bad track record with request fics, so I was very relieved when this ended up working out so quickly - I actually got a plot bunny and started writing it out _that very same night_, then finished the draft the next day. This is also my first successful response to a request, yay! I hope it's close enough to what you had in mind to be entertaining, Ip! And sorry about the AkuSai in the beginning, but you know me. XD Couldn't resist.

This fic was a lot more angsty than I'd intended it to be, I had to keep trying to haul it back into fluff levels. Gah, CoM, why are you so depressing? Most of my angst and/or romance efforts belong to other fandoms like RuroKen! The Kingdom Hearts fandom should be for happy sparkly rainbow pony friendship!


End file.
